Forever Alone?

 

The grass is never greener on the other side. I remember at times wishing I was living on my own, no one around to bother me, to have freedom to do whatever I want. Those things are great don't get me wrong, but living alone has it's downfalls too. So here are the best and worst things about living alone.



The Best

• You have the whole bed to yourself. You don't fight for covers, wake up to someone tossing, snoring, or talking in their sleep. You can sprawl out to all four corners of the bed. Most people would love this, however I still sleep in one corner of the bed and sleep in the same spot all night. When I wake up I don't even need to make one side of the bed. It's still perfectly in place.
• You can watch or listen to whatever you want. No fighting over the remote, no getting stuck watching shows that you can't stand. You can listen to whatever music you want, as loud as you want, at any time you want. There is always music on at my place, mainly because I can't handle the sound of silence, mixed with the humming of the fridge, but also because music is my life. It's on while I get ready, while I write, while I work out, while I cook and always when I just chill on the couch.
• You can make whatever you want to eat. I eat pretty much anything and some days I like to spend the time and immerse myself into cooking a big meal (this will last me for days of meals), and sometimes I come home and eat nothing. No one ever complains about how long it takes to cook, what is being made, or if they like what I cook. If it's bad, I don't make it again. If it's good I usually forget what I did.
• The only mess that is made is your own. You don't have to clean up from anyone unless you have company. My towels are always in place, everything is where I want it to be and if it's not I know I have to clean it up. My own mess.
• You are always right. By far my favorite. There is no one around to tell you if you are hanging a picture wrong, building something wrong, or just acting wrong. At the end of the day you always get to be right because there is no one to tell you otherwise. This won't always apply because as soon as you tell an outsider and they say you are wrong, you aren't always right.

The Worst

• When you are having a really bad day and you come home and just want to have a hug and cry it all away, there is no one there. This just makes the bad day even worse. At this point just go to bed.
• You can't blame anyone for anything but yourself. If there is a mess, something isn't done, a bill needs to get paid, you went over on you internet usage, or you are out of food, you can't blame anyone but yourself. This was the one that went in between the good and the bad when it came to the mess. You made it, but you also have to clean it all up.
• You spend way to much time talking to yourself. There are days I am sure I have gone crazy with some of the conversations I have had out loud with myself. I guess I'm never really lonely. Just a basket case.
• It's cold being alone. There are no hugs, snuggles, or anything to keep you warm. I have become attached to my wool socks and multiple layers of clothing to keep me warm. It doesn't matter how high I turn up the heat, there is nothing like skin to skin contact to keep you warm. This one makes me sad. Murr
• There is no one to make you comfort food. There are those days where it's cold out, you are grumpy, something has ticked you off, or you are just having a murrday. Those are the days I just want someone to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. It makes everything better. Making it yourself is not comforting. It seems like so much effort on those days. I usually just end up with toast with peanut butter instead.
• There is no one to share silly little moments with. I see, hear and do a lot of random things in my life and those really close to me get my texts all the time with strange pictures of something happening, but sometimes it's a lot of effort to send something and try to explain it rather than seeing it in person. This must be how I end up talking to myself.

There are goods and bads to any situation but those are my thoughts on living alone. It's been a strange year for sure and it's taken a long time to realize the good, and they usually outweigh the bad. At the end of the day if I could have my own bed, a maid, my own room to listen to music in, while I had someone to keep me warm with snuggles, give me hugs and make me grilled cheese who would listen to my random stories, then I think it would be great. Or I could just get a maid/cook and a dog. That may also solve my problems but then I would be forever alone with a dog. Murrr